The progressing illness with no cure in sight….

I believe as mother’s we all suffer from a very serious illness, an illness that seems to have no cure, that only progressively gets worse and effects the way we live.

This illness is called Mom Brain. 

If you are lucky enough to not suffer from this illness then consider yourself a miracle and do not tell your doctors because you may be submitted to rigorous testing.

I felt this topic was very fitting due to the content of my Topic Thursday video. After watching the video I realized I had made a couple mistake on the video, i.e. I said NFC championship game when it was truly the AFC, among other mistakes. I watched the video before uploading to watch for mistakes and sure enough I didn’t catch any. Typical mom brain, waits until later to humiliate me.

I always tend to forget that I have mom brain until I am caught in a predicament of looking like an idiot because of something I said or did. Now mom brain is pretty self explanatory, as a mother we are left with so much on our minds ranging from: kids, husbands, dinner, errands, to do lists, etc. that we then forget some of the basic things that non mothers can remember. So in order to not bore you with the nitty gritty details I will give you one of my more memorable mom brain stories.

I do my grocery shopping once a week so that I do not have to be leaving the house multiple times a week, so when I do my shopping I end up having to stop at a few stores. Well on this one occasion I was stopping at my last stop which was a grocery store, we had already made about three stops and had been going on nearly three hours of errands at this point. Needless to say my children were exhausted and not being too cooperative. I wanted to make this stop a quick one so that my kids didn’t have time to make it a miserable experience. I drive a mini van and so I slid the backdoor open to grab my kids out of their car seats and head into the store. My thought process was to be quick and keep the kids behaved. We ran into the store and grabbed the couple of things we needed to grab and headed back to the car, as we walk out of the doors I set my eyes on the van and notice the backdoor is wide open. In a panic and feeling quite embarrassed, I rush to the van and then notice that on the back seat my cell phone is sitting there, in plain view. Now this could have been a much worse situation of my phone being stolen or anything else in the car but luckily it wasn’t, but my embarrassment was still at an all time high for all the people in the parking lot who witnessed me running to a van with a door wide open and my unruly children screaming in the basket.

Hopefully this story could give you a little laugh or relief to the thought of mom brain. I feel that sharing stories can help us not feel so alone and can give us a little more relief that we aren’t the only crazy ones in the world, so what are some experiences you have had with mom brain or maybe even, what do you do to help your mom brain spasms?

Love, light and namaste.

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Mothers are important, but how important are we?!

Parenting is the epitome of what mothers are made to do, right? As a mother I know that parenting is probably the number one thing that is on my mind the most. My mind is a constant pile of parenting thoughts, “Did my child go potty recently? Is is almost nap time? Did my child eat? It sure is quiet, maybe I should check on them..” I am sure all parents have these thoughts constantly and that every decision they make they have the thought of how that decision is going to affect their child..

We make these decision and make parenting a priority in an attempt to be good parents. For me, the point of being a good parent isn’t because it’s “what I should be” or because society wants me to be a good parent but because when I decided to have my children their lives became my priority and for the sake of my children and their happiness I want to be the best parent for them that I can be. For the sake of my child’s future and their well being I will do whatever it takes to be a good parent.

Now that I am an adult and I see the person I am and see people I know and see how they are as people, I begin to question and wonder a lot about children and parenting. We hear so often how children are a productive of their environment and that children will do/be what they live. I’m not questioning that or saying that is not true and honestly I am no psychologist that can say scientifically this is true or not true, but I can say that I am a mother who has had a mother and am now grown and can say from my experiences as a child and what I have gotten out of these theories.

I can say that yes, I have taken a lot of defense mechanism and have a few habits that I probably gathered from my environment as a child, like: the fact that I am a very skeptical person, that I don’t like to wear make up, get all dress up and pretty, I am an introvert/kind of a loner, I love to read and many more. All of these I can gather that I have developed from my environment and not just from my mother and father but from my grandparents and aunts, uncles, etc. These components are all factors in making me who I am and without one of these I wouldn’t be “Natalie” but I don’t contribute these factors to be major components of making me who I am.

So this brings me to the fact that my mother and father divorced when I was three weeks of age and my birth father was not a major part of my life until I was around 13. My main parental figures were my mother, step-father, grandmother and grandfather. So as these the saying go, I would be substantially more like my mother than my father because she was my environment, or maybe even like my stepfather or my grandparents. But I can honestly say, I’m not. I am nothing like my mother, we are what most would call complete opposites, I am neither like my stepfather, I have taken a few traits from both of them but in the scheme of themes I am not a product of them (environmentally speaking 😉 ) and same goes for my grandparents, although I am more like my grandmother than my mother. Not saying that I don’t love any of them or that I grew up saying “I never wanna be like my mom, grandma, grandpa, stepdad, etc.” but I just didn’t.

Since I have grown up and have spent quite a bit more time with my father and have gotten to know him on a deeper level I have realized how much I am like my dad. I am truly a product of him. To go even deeper, as an adult I became acquainted with my father’s sister with whom is a lot younger than him and so they never grew up together or spent much time with one another.  I had found that I had a mutual friend with my aunt and gotten to know her and hang out with her family and we have became quite close. The more we spent together the more I realized how much I am like my aunt as well. Two people who are blood related but never knew each other until we were adults and yet we have a lot of the same personality traits, mannerism, among other things.

This leads me to the thought of maybe who we are isn’t from our environment, yes we may get some traits based off of the situations and environments we are put in as a child which could lead to certain habits, etc, but also I believe sometimes we are who we are supposed to be no matter where we come from. Chemicals and DNA could play more in a part of who we are than who raised us. People who are adopted have been said that they always knew they were adopted because they always felt out of place in their family and maybe that is why. Not saying that parents don’t need to try so hard because it doesn’t matter anyway but I do believe that when parenting we should take into account who our children really are and use that to our parenting techniques.

I think expecting our children to be someone because “that’s how they were raised” is a bit harsh and some children may take that a bit too heart. Wouldn’t it be better to know who our children are as a person and get to know them as more than just “our children” and raise them according to their personalities. I believe it could help us as parents as well, imagine how hard it can be on a parent to feel like you have done your parenting the best way you knew how and yet your child is still rebellious and isn’t following “how you raised them to be”. Maybe it has nothing to do with how you raised your child or what you put them through but maybe it has more to do with the fact that your child is destined to be who he/she is supposed to be and maybe their personality causes them to have to learn the hard way, etc.

Let’s still be good parents and put our parenting first and help our children feel safe but maybe we can help them feel safer by knowing who they are, what kind of person they are and use that to help us in our parenting endeavors.

Love, light and namaste.

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Spoiled children.

Isn’t it amazing how sometimes things will pop up multiple times in a short period of time in our lives?! This happens to me all the time, I will have a certain topic, person, song, etc. pop up in my life in the same day, week or month. I believe when this happens it is the universe telling me or warning me of something that I need to focus on or take appreciation for, etc. Maybe I’m a crazy lady but I take these signs and I try to learn or grow from them.

The certain topic that has come up in my life recently is spoiling/over indulging children. My best chummy and I had a conversation regarding this and I have had a few friends on Facebook share an article focusing on spoiled children (Click here for that article)

Now I am a mother of two little girls, MaurJo, 4 and ChaCha, almost 2. I am a big advocate for not going over board on birthdays or Christmas, and all other holidays. I try to keep it simple and focus more on the celebration and memories rather than the gifts ( MaurJo received a toothbrush and toothbrush holder from Santa one year). So here I am being a parent that believes my children are not over indulged and are learning from that. This false pretense came from the fact that MaurJo is very appreciative and is always saying Thank you and giving loves whenever she receives anything from anyone. I would feel so proud and think that I was actually doing something right in this crazy world of parenting. Don’t get me wrong, my children are not perfect, both my girls are giant fit throwers, but I always brushed it off as they were dramatic, which they still probably are. And then I saw this article and everything I had ever known about my children and my theories on spoiling was thrown out the window. Is it possible that not just holidays are what spoil are kids? Maybe that we can spoil them with things that are not materialistic, like giving into them when they just want one more cookie? I have sometimes thought about these things but kinda brushed them off in the moment. That was when I realized maybe I could take this sign from the universe and use it.

Granted, this article is not written by any child psychologist or expert and every child is different leading to different traits, but it definitely made me think and maybe help me a little bit in how I treat my children. I’m not going to bore you by going into every sign that this article lists and I’m not going to try and eliminate all these signs in my children so that they are no longer existent (but how wonderful would that be 😉 ) but I do think addressing this problems and seeing if they are a direct sign of my child being spoiled.

Now my children don’t fit into all these categories but there are a couple that they do and these categories are: throws fits often, isn’t ever satisfied and doesn’t share. So for the next little while I am going to quite being so naive and try to stop brushing things off. Maybe it is bad parenting that I have been exhibiting but I am going to try and be more focused on what I am giving my children and see if it helps these troubles I have with my kids or to see if maybe this article is not all that accurate.

What’s your opinion on the article? Do these signs correlate with a spoiled child? I wanna hear your opinion.

Don’t think I forgot about the 24 Hour Challenge, I did participate but I also found that it doesn’t happen in 24 hours, it takes lots of focus and a little time to break the complaining habit.

Love, light and namaste.

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